A few months ago, I had a very interesting conversation with a colleague of mine regarding a few dilemmas and business ideas. At one point, he said “I am only going to allow you to have one pity party, but that is it.” WOW! This statement made me think hard about our conversation, myself, and what was really behind that message. As a result, I realized that we can celebrate birthdays, Christmas and all other holidays and events, but why not throw ourselves a “Happy Pity Party” to help move on from self-pity.
Sometimes circumstances consume us and we may think we have all of the answers, but we find ourselves doubting, misunderstanding, or not appreciating our own capabilities. Sometimes we lose faith in ourselves and in making decisions or fear taking some form of action. Regardless of the situation, self-pity can creep up on you and you have to catch it before it spreads all over your body like cancer.
Self-pity is a sneaky feeling of sorrow which often is self-indulgent and pertains usually to our own sufferings. If we are not careful, self-pity can consume us and we lose our focus on what really matters. So, I suggest the next time you are going through some heavy stuff and feel sorry for yourself — why not throw a “Happy Pity Party” and shake that funk off. It’s time to move on!
Here are my five tips to having a great and Happy Pity Party:
1. Create a list of the top 10 things you want to say which represent why you feel sorry for yourself. You have to be really honest because otherwise your party will not create the results you want. (Length of list is discretionary.)
2. Call or send an Evite to 5-10 of your closest friends and/or family members. Tell them you are planning a themed “Happy Pity Party” on such a date and be prepared to laugh or cry if things get too sad. (Amount of guests is discretionary.)
3. After all of your guests have arrived, begin to read and discuss your list of sorrows early into the party and state the changes you want to make for the better. In doing this, you have launched your celebration of acceptance and self-empowerment.
4. Buy plenty of colorful balloons and spread them throughout the room. Just in case, have a box of tissue handy as well and plenty of wine and cheese. You can also opt for a more sophisticated event and have it catered. The point is to make it fun.
5. Make sure to have your favorite kind of music playing in the background because you are celebrating a new beginning. You are having a party, so dance till you drop!
Your “Happy Pity Party” represents an opportunity for you to come to terms with what is stopping you from accomplishing your goals. You are celebrating your willingness to not wallow in self-pity or sadness, but instead rejuvenate your thoughts, spirit and life force. This is a great way to jump start your new journey towards positive thinking and leaving self-pity behind. Be creative! The truth is that if you don’t believe in yourself, no one will.
Your efforts to have this pity party are to acknowledge why you feel the way you do and what you plan to do about it. Make it worth your while. Really enjoy and celebrate your life with friends and family, embrace their love and support, and then let it go! – Author Wendy Oliveras